Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What a dumb baby whore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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