Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
