He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
