And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
