Need sex. Gaining weight.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
