he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I forgot how hot balto sounded
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
