I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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