he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
