i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
