he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
