Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize