I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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