i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can you bring me the toilet please
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
