turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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