if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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