if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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