so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
