i think my mom watched the whole time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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