So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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