if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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