He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
