party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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