trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
