Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
