Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Watching her eat just hurts me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
