good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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