drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
