Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
