hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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