Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
