But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
