i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
