; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
