All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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