I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
