you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
