I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
