I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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