so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
