In America we eat man semen.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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