How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
