oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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