I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
