Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
