I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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