I've blown a few things in my day
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
