Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
