The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize