no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
