I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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