He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
