hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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