im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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