"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
