I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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