Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
