I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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