HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How's work?
Spinning.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
