If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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