just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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