I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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