i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Oh god it's open bar.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
