i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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