i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
