If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
