Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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