You just made me feel so damn special
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
