Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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