Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
