I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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