Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I love having hate sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
