3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
