Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize